the Eucharist
As I made way to the front of the Church I could feel a calm coming over me. I had been setting in the pew trying to participate fully in the service, but I kept thinking of the promise of my participation in theCommunion service yet ahead. As I sat there my mind went blank, oh no - what am I suppose to say? Was it "the loaf beaten for you", no, "the bread buttered for him?", I finally got so worked up about it I just looked it up in the Hymnal.
I had taught children becoming acolytes, how to participate in this service. I had seen other lay readers and ushers participating, but I had never done it. In a conversation with my pastor, Rev. Alan Kinney, I mentioned how I had felt a drawing to participate in giving Communion. In his very next sentience he was telling me to be here next Sunday.
So there I was, the timehad finally come. Ifound myselfat the front most pew, almost there.The calm had almost completely taken me over and that's when I saw it. Alan took the prepared loaf and was holding it high for everyone to see. He spoke "My body broken for you" and the loaf was in two pieces. It was in that very moment Ibecame totally zoned, focused, mesmerized on that body, that bread. I found myself standing side by side next to Alan, a cup in one hand and a loaf in the other with along line before me. I had envisioned a spiritual high, but instead I noticed much more of an empty feeling. But as each person grabbed and pulled a piece of bread from the loaf the words "Christ's body broken for you" came from my mouth. And then as our eyes meant, "Christ's blood shed for you", a connection was made. But I felt that the connection was not of my own but between the person before me and someone else, Christ! As I looked into the eyes of so many I saw so many that I wanted to touch. I wanted those few simple words to wrap them in the Love of Christ. I was so worried about what I would say, would it connect with the people I was serving, but none of it mattered. It was all about serving, it was all about the connection between Christ and those being served. Then it was all over, as quickly as it had started, it was over. I then was the one being served. It was as I was taking my piece of bread that I began to realize what had just happened. The bread and the juice filled my mouth, the emotion, the reality, of what Christ had done for me became clearer in those few moments than it ever had before. I looked Rev. Kinney in the eye and looked into mine. I said, "Praise be to God", and Alan said "Amen".
The Eucharist will never be that same for me again. I cannot say where this experience will take me. I can tell you however; it already has brought me closer, closer to God.